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galleri
Your result for The "exactly how nuts are you?" Test
Cashew

Congratulations! You scored ###%!
Cashews are tasty. You're quite nuts. But, you've got a perfect thing going on, cashews're definitely nuts, but they know when to be serious! You've managed to strike a fine balance. You don't care what other people think, you're just you, but you are not so far out that people will think: this cashew is tasting a bit too funny..
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Long time no see blog. LOL or my friends out there. Seems with my divorce, moving, new job etc.... I neglected this part.
I start graveyards this week. So right now I am trying to get my body adjusted.
I have been with a sweet man for a year now. He is 9 years older than me and is from Louisiana.
Unfortunatly our living conditions are a great stress on me at the moment.
We take care of his sister whom has MS, Scholiosis, brain tumors, and only the left half of her brain. Now let me tell you, being a caregiver is not as easy as it seems. Grrrrr
We are gonna move in two months anyhow to a new place. And I think she is gonna have to go to a home. The stress is starting to get to our relationship.

I got to see a tornado the other day!! Here in the Springs again!!

Current Mood: awake

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As you tell I just plain suck at posting LOLz.
But I really need to make this a habit.
So far today I cancelled all my appts. I just don't feel well. Or maybe I just really don't feel like dealing with people today. And I am sick and tired of having my life booked up with appts, work, this and that. I miss the times now when I had nothing to do. Now I have so much to do I cannot figure out how I am coming or going.
Today I am going to scan the rest of that yearbook from the 1920's to get up on the Greenlee County site.
And this week I am think a little more about going out and looking for a job as a receptionist.
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I don't think Colorado is in Colorado anymore!!! I think it moved to the south. UGGG the humidity!!!
I cannot deal with it. This is the reason I don't live near my family in the south...my lungs and asthma do not handle the humidity too well. Course I could not be complaining to much...they have it worse in Texas.

Tornados!!! Weeee I am surprised that I did not jump on here a few days ago to tell my excitement.
I went outside in the afternoon last Weds. And low and behold!!....I am looking up at the clouds and they are swirling, and swirling....of course all I could do is stare up in awesome. So I come running back in.....Radar needs to come on ASAP!!!!
Sure enough...tornado warning. Weeeee, so run back outside, my swirling cloud is becoming a funnel. My heart is racing and I am like wow!!! Back inside, to see the radar more. Hook echos all over. Back outside. Now the rain and the hail is beginning. In and out, in and out!! talking on irc. Almost peeing in my pants over excitement. By now reports of the tornado in Woodland Park on the news. Same thing about the funnel cloud. Ok someone had to ruin my fun.....they said "hey galleri don't you live on the second floor?".....darnit!!!! excitement just went to "oh noes!!" I had plans to go into the bathroom...but what if. Sigh.
I could write more. But I will save it for later.
Next thing ... I always heard that tornados sound like a train coming...well with all this rain and hail and wind going on..the whole entire storm sounded like a train coming.
Then as fast as it came in ...it was gone. But then....I had no clue I needed to build me an Arc. It was now flooded outside. LOL
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Things are working out!! Last week we bought a new car. It's a Chevy Trailblazer. I love it!!
And today I started my first day at my new job. I got a job at Bennigans. Ironically Anna trained me today. LOL a few years ago I trained her at OTB. So far I like the place.
Menu is easier than it looks. And I took two tables alone at the end of the night.
I got alot done during the week I did not work. Kind of like a mini vacation. Alot of my online work got caught up. Sorta. LOL
I did alot of gaming on WoW too.
Spent today doing homework that my counsler at church had me do.
Need to get back to the gym, as i am starting to gain some weight again.
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I have no clue what is gonna happen in life. I am thinking of becoming a stay at home mom again. Or something. I totally feel happy today to be "free" as I see it. No more worry about that place calling me on the spot to come work or do caterings. I'M FREE!!! HAHAHAAAA. And I feel good about it.
Besides I like being alone these days.
Anyhow Timmy I love ya!! And I will still stay in touch. Trust me. You and Dannyelle. Love ya both. Your great friends.
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You know what happened. Not sure if you know about the after though. See I do not know if you know what goes on here.... can you see that ?? Are you here with me still???

I remember you sent an email telling me you needed a few days alone, no phone and you would not be emailing. So I left you alone... for 3 days. I finally called just to call... I was worried. It was odd of you to send me an email like that... but I thought you were having a bad migraine or something.
I called all morning...leaving messages.....
"Jeffanna it's me please call me" " Jeffanna it is me again" "Jeffanna I really wish you would answer or pick up I am getting worried" I remember calling Raul at work. I was gonna drive down to your place. Raul told me to give it an hour to see if you would call back....
"Jeffanna now I am really worried... I suggest you call back or I am calling the police"
"Jeffanna I am now telling you I am calling the police"

Exactly what I did:
"Hi I was wondering if an officer could go to my aunt's to see if she is ok?"
operator: "What makes you think something is wrong?"
"Have not heard from her in 3 days.... she and I are very close and she normally calls me right back and we talk everyday. It is not like her and she really does not leave her apt. because of her pain and pain meds"
operator "ok we will send an officer over, what is the address?"
gave address to operator
"Will you all call if everything is ok or if anything is wrong"
operator "We will call you within the hour"
"ok bye"

Apparently unbeknowst to me ..... Doug was coming home from a so called business trip to talk with you... (.they were spliting up due to him cheating on her and having a girlfriend out east.)
He was trying to get into the apt .... and you had deadbolted it from the inside and he could not get in. He had called the police dept the same time I had.

30 mins later my phone rang... it was my uncle... he told me that you were found dead, you commited suicide by taking all your pain meds...... they think that by the way you were bloated and the apt smelled... you did this 3 days ago... more than likely after sending me that last email.

Doug and I hang up.... I sit there on my bed I have no idea what to do with myself... I call Raul .. He leaves work to come home.

The phone rings again... it is the police dept... I cannot remember the officer's name.. but a really nice guy! He asks if I am home alone?? Guess he found out from Doug that you and are very close. I told him yes... but my husband is on his way. He wanted to know that I would be ok?? And could they send an officer to be with me. I told him no. I would wait til my husband came home. He continued to tell me that you died peacefully and was in no pain. He told me there was a letter from you to me there. Was I sure that I did not want an officer to come? I was sure.
He hangs up.

Doug calls again I cannot remember why.

I call my mom..... I remember her saying "what" a few times... I think I called Nana. Alot of that is all blurred.

I just want one more hour with you at times.... just to gossip, talk, or even hug you... to hear your voice.
I wish someone that commits suicide could know the pain they cause others... how much it hurts the one who loves you.
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I wrote this on another blog a long time ago. But decided to stick it here now.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Thought of you yesterday. Raul's nephew and his wife... Steven and Sherry had their baby on Sunday morning. A little girl named Shilah Ann. Reminded me of when Alex was being born at memorial. You arrived right after his birth. I can hear your voice in my head from when you came in. That is actually the first time I can remember you voice since you died.
I wish you never left. Your on my mind everyday and constantly. It is still hard not to cry when I think of you.
Doug lives in C. S. again. He bought a house. Up in the Stratmoor Hills area of Powers. Allen is with him. I think Allen graduated last year or maybe this year.
I really wanna go see Doug at times. I never know if he will talk to me or shut the door in my face or tell me to go away. I am still so angry at him for what he did to you and the pain that he caused the family.

Every once in awhile I look for Gary on the internet for you. I wonder if he is still alive or what. I wonder if he wonders what happened to you. I also have been trying to look for Stacey so I can tell her. I think I should write a letter to Doyle... maybe he could pass it on to Stacey.

Alex turned 6. I am sure you know. I feel bad he will never know you.

What is it like?? Where are you?? Are you any happier??? I have so many dang questions......
I wonder how you felt when you laid down after taking all those pills. Did you wish you could turn back the time and not had taken them? What were you thinking?
I have to quit now as this is making me cry way too much. I love you.
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I am a gamer... i think it says that in my profile...but you have no clue what play. Just about anything. I play Earth2025, takes up alot of my time for some reason. That or I just like it too much LOL. I also play WoW.

I am big on doing genealogy. Been doing it since I was 14. And I love history my 3 most favorite times are greecian history, wild west ( i should been in the wild west), and the civil war. I run two sites for the USGenWeb. Greenlee County, AZ and El Paso County, CO. I am the Asst. State Coordinator for both the AZGenWeb and COGenWeb.

Also I love reading....I am big huge fan of Stephen King.

Been thru lots of stuff in my life. Made some big changes here and there.
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After having to reformat a hard drive and swiping it all clean. I am finally back. Still getting the puter set back up the way I need it to be. I hope to never do that again.
Had loads of fun downtown last night with for my sister's bday.


So I have written again LOL

Sitting her all alone. Waiting on life to end. Hell. What happens in the end?
Is there a place to go?? Or does it just go dark?
Memories lost? Long forgotten? Or do you meet the people once forgotten?
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